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Writer's pictureOlivia Cheong

The True Cost of Breaking Promises

We have all had someone break promises or agreements with us.


Perhaps it was something you saw as relatively harmless, like a colleague turning up late for an appointment. Or it could have been something more personal, such as a family member not doing something they had promised they would follow through on.


We do not often consider the integrity of our words, and the impact that our promises and agreements have on others and ourselves. There is a cost to broken promises and agreements. Have you broken promises with people closest to you? I know I have.



What is the resulting experience you had when an agreement or promise was broken? For me, I experienced the emotion of disappointment, frustration, and even sadness. I may tell myself to either lower my expectations or take matters into my own hands next time. I take some steps (whether consciously, or not) to protect myself from feeling the emotions of disappointment and hurt.


More importantly, have you been breaking promises with yourself? Did you say you would go to the gym this week, be in bed by a certain time, or spend time with your family, and did not follow through? Big or small, when we break promises with ourselves, we erode trust and confidence. You are sending messages to yourself all the time. With enough reinforcement, you will soon believe that you cannot trust yourself. That is the true cost of breaking promises.


Start small, and start with yourself. Be mindful of the promises you make. Be willing to be honest about what you care about and want, and what you are willing to put in effort for.



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