Do you often feel the need to justify or explain your choices?
We do that for a myriad of reasons. Maybe we want to ease the impact that we think our choice will have on others; to let someone down easy; to maintain our image of being 'nice'; or to rationalise our decisions (sometimes to ourselves).
I often get a gut feeling whether something is a "Yes" or "No" for me. Sometimes, a "No" could also be a "Not at the moment, but perhaps later". At times, I override my gut feeling and say "Yes" to people or things that I pull away from, because I want to people please or 'go with the flow'. I now see that pushing myself to do something I am instinctively recoiling from is the opposite of 'going with MY FLOW'.
In recent times, I am practising saying "No" without feeling the need to overly explain myself. When I say "No" without (over)stating reasons, I am clear and firm. I stand behind my choices without considerations or excuses.
I am also mindfully saying "Yes" only to people or things that energise me, choosing to spend my energy on things that bring me fulfillment and satisfaction.
As Brené Brown wrote, "Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.". Being honest and open, and communicating clearly what we need and want, is being kind to ourselves and others. It may feel uncomfortable and clumsy the first few times you do so, especially if you are adept at censoring yourself to maintain harmony and peace. With practice, you will get better at speaking your truth and at being authentically you, unapologetically.
Comments